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Apply Your Negotiation Skills To Help Deal With Tough Discussions

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The most important thing most of us learn from effective negotiations skills training is the importance to create a precise frame for a discussion, otherwise we are starting our discussions within the default frame of the other person. Here is a couple of points to think about as you get ready for a difficult conversation.

1. Remember you are dealing with a person who has dreams, desires and aspirations much like everyone.

When you have to deliver bad news, make certain you frame it sensitively. It is important for people to preserve their dignity and there is no reason to create resentment & resistance within your counterpart.

As an example, let's say you have had a poor performing employee who you have decided to discharge.

One way of delivering the news could be:

Tony, after carefully reviewing your track record and taking into account our past discussions about your inadequate performance, I have reached a final decision to discontinue your services. Unfortunately my decision is final and I need you to hand over any outstanding items and depart with immediate effect.

An alternative way of delivering the news could be:

Tony, it saddens me to inform you that I have decided to discontinue your services. I arrived at this decision because it is necessary that there is a 100% fit between our expectations and your ability to deliver and I feel strongly that your skills is likely to be more valued in a different kind of position rather than this one.

If you feel that you really would like to continue in this type of position then I would like to recommend that you pay attention to the following, possibly even invest in further development in this respect. Thank you for having made the effort to meet our requirements and all the best with your long term endeavours.

In the second situation you are at least recognising the fact that an effort was made on the part of the worker and that you are willing to help them refine their technique so that they can be more successful in future.

2. Effective negotiation training confirms that we must acknowledge our weaknesses.

If you have done something for which you should apologise, do not shift the blame, but accept full accountability. We have much more respect for individuals who own up to their mistakes compared to those who dodge responsibility. Follow up your admission of guilt by asking the question how you can remedy the situation. Not many people have the expectation that just about everything must be perfect at all times. After all, people are all human and it is inevitable that you or anyone else for that matter will be making mistakes every once in awhile.

If you ask what it is that you can do to remedy the circumstance you will be surprised to learn that generally people will be more than happy with the fact that you apologised and will not demand anything additional aside from a guarantee that the mistake will not be repeated.

Make sure you treat people with dignity and compassion. Even those folks who seem to be hard as nails often act this way as a defence against getting hurt.

It is not always simple to treat others with respect and dignity but it is definitely an objective worth seeking, but use this advice and add to your sales training objectives, the results will speak for itself.

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